In the last few months 2-3 of my friends have gotten seperated and/or divorced. It is always sad and shocking to me. My first reaction is sadness, followed by deep emotional sorrow for the couple. What didn't work? Why? Did they try hard enough? I guess my ultimate fantasy is for all 'lovers' is to stay together till they die. Obviously that is not the case for many couples but it is still devestating to see couples and families break up.
In addition, I came to a deep realization this week. The American culture celebrates love, happiness, marriage, new babies but when it comes to death, divorce, and unhappy events, the person most intimately affected is left alone. There's no public annoucement from the wife/husband divorcing that pleads for help. Closest family members might help, but the divorce doesn't have a bridesmaids/groomsmen party to help her/him out during this crucial time in their lives. There are no 'divorcemaids' helping her pick up the pieces, when they go their seperate ways, when she doesn't feel like getting out of bed, cleaning, cooking, playing with her child or even living (for those first few days/weeks.)*
In the recent years, I've heard of 'divorce parties' that people throw. Either both exes and their family and friends are invited or the celebration is done seperately. I'm not sure if I agree and/or understand this growing trend. What are they celebrating? The fact that their marriage did not work? Why celebrate? Is the celebration for the family/friends so they know the wife/husband is 'A-O.K'? If divorce parties are a celebration of their relationship not working, then should they have had a mourning ceremony for their wedding day???
All in all, I'm still all for love. I love weddings and being a part of them. Ever so happy for couples to be together and find 'the one' to spend the rest of their lives with. No one said it'll be easy. There will be many bumps on the road, but the biggest accomplishment to me will be making it till the end with that one person. And that is worth celebrating!
* Dear Reader: You can replace her with him and she with he, in any of the above statements. Unbiased post!
